Yeah I’ll have to try that out. For some reason I’ve been sceptical about them as they all seem to homemade. Don’t know what’s in that stuff. Do you have a link to the seeds you take?
So here’s something interesting, I’ve recently gone 80 percent deaf in the right ear, in fact it happened last night at around 10:00pm while watching TV. I just spent the last 9 hours in emergency, they have confirmed nerve damage, I’m on prednisone for the next 7 days. For me, This is more devastating than the prospect of living in pain forever. Half my head is dead with absolute hellish screaming with no way to mask out the sound at all, just trapped in it. I watch TV and all I hear is screaming to the point where I just can’t take it any longer. I’ve had tinnitus for years, in fact I’ve lost my career over it. Now, well this is something I could have never imagined. I don’t think I’m capable of handling this, I can not relax for even 1 min ever again. You don’t really sleep when it’s this loud, you pass out on and off wake up in hell with heart racing every 20 min, not relaxing sleep like normal people. Even fairly loud tinnitus is doable, but when it reaches a certain pitch and volume it’s just torture every minute of every day.
I asked the doctor why one ear, and why just bam everything gone. She said that it was likely a virus that attacked the audio nerve. I asked her about a vasectomy being related to this, she wouldn’t really entertain the conversation but didn’t deny any anything.
If the other ear goes, I won’t be around for long, I don’t think I can take a day of it. The noise just gets to the point that you become mentally exhausted, but you know you won’t get a break from it ever, it causes severe panic attacks. My previous tinnitus level was to the point that I would have complete meltdowns while out and have to race home, drink, take drugs whatever.
Anyway, I didn’t sleep last night, I’m exhausted and terrified to sleep. I’ll wake to raging deafness, new reality and panic attacks. I don’t think the prednisone will help that. It’s strange putting my ear down on the pillow and not hearing any scratching by the ear on the pillow, just feels dead. It’s a huge adjustment to make, not to mention I have metal on metal scraping in my brain so loud it’s hard to explain. If I lay in the good ear I’m completely in my own world with it, it’s just plain scary.
Having said all this, I’ll book a reversal tomorrow, this has destroyed me, it’s hard to imagine living like this, for the rest of my life, never mind trying to pull off a surgery. It’s hard to avoid the thoughts of impending doom. I love my wife, and don’t want to leave anyone, but at the same time I don’t know how I can handle the next 10 min, nevermind permanently. And then there is the prospect of everything getting worse, other ear attacked, debilitating surgery pain while I can’t sleep it away at all. The ear lost everything so quickly that it just seems too easy to happen to the other side.
The task seems a little daunting. It’s all so hard to explain to family. Having a conversation saying things like yeah I went deaf, I believe it’s the vasectomy, this kind of thing makes people think you’ve lost your mind. I have no question that it’s the vasectomy, never in my life have I suddenly lost this kind of hearing. Tinnitus is usually a gradual thing, tons of noise, ototixic drugs etc. This shit is something actually relentlessly attacking my system, this is right from the doc, what are the chances that it’s not the vasectomy and all a big coincidence, in my mind zero. I’ll roll the dice, I have nothing to loose at this point. If I make it through this a half way sane person I’d be totally shocked.
My prostate is also still swollen, along with entire area, none of it is good. I’m booking for ASAP. In the mean time I guess I better get some seeds.
The nurse that was preparing my arm for blood work was asking all the questions, I mentioned a vasectomy, she was like oooh my husband is getting one, we can’t wait!! I couldn’t even speak properly, all I could do was say no no no no no over and over until I got a hold of myself and managed to explain what has happened to me. She looked puzzled disbelief type of look. Just ended up saying, listen, do a lot of digging around, if he ends up like myself, you’ll loose him as a husband and as a father. My wife was there, almost in tears, she may have got the point. I think I even teared up a little while trying to explain myself.
I find myself pretty down down down, my poor wife is having a mental breakdown, she doesn’t deny a thing, she has seen exactly what this simple procedure has done to me, how it’s changed me, how it’s aged me, how it’s sucked every bit of everything I had left right out of me.
Men, this is not right, how can this all be happening. I’m a ruined man with no future. My best case is to get out of this a only one half deaf man that has been traumatized beyond words, I’ll hope for it, anything less and I’m not making it boys.
I’m not a religious person but I’m saying some prayers to whoever will listen to me tonight, I’ll pray for the rest of you, please do the same for me. I don’t think I’ve ever said a prayer in my life.