We had a pandemic baby, our third. An amazing, happy little girl, born in Oct 2020. Vasectomy was presented as the responsible option for birth control. At 39, with three kids, we didn’t want to risk a fourth.
There was a wait list due to the pandemic. My closed end scalpel-less procedure was performed by a UPenn/Yale grad with an amazing reputation on April 30, 2021. Only a little over a month ago.
Procedure was non-eventful, other than smelling my flesh being cauterized. Initial recovery went well. I have always been extremely active, from the time I could walk as a child, playing lacrosse in college, golf, weightlifting, biking, and running as an adult. Even installing a squat rack and full barbell/kettlebell set up when the pandemic hit to keep that part of my life going. 17 days after the procedure I began to exercise, maybe at 75% of what I would normally do. Later that week, at day 20, the pain began. Sharp, pulsing, radiating to my groin and abdomen.
When I called that day the nurse called back prescribing a 30 day course of Mobic (Meloxicam). I didn’t have time to even formulate questions, but immediately thought “why TF is it 30 days?”
One week later, I had a slight burning sensation arise and was granted an appointment with another urologist from the same practice. He pressed my left and right epididymis indicating they were swollen. Extreme pain was experienced. He prescribed a week of anti-biotics - doxycycline to rule out epididymitis. And only then, did I began to explore more information on PVPS. Terrifying. Learning that conservatively 25k new American men experience this every year was a complete gut punch. Certainly, this potential outcome deserves more than a two sentence disclaimer. My symptoms seem to be worsening and the care tree is being followed, and it’s like looking into the future. Tomorrow I will have an ultrasound…my urologist is telling me that reversal is not the answer…repeating many of your stories it would seem.
Like many of you I am mining the interwebs for clues and ideas. Learning about the vavovasectomy process and experts. Papaya seed powder, jock straps, and a cocktail of supplements recommended by the few reliable PVPS publications available are on their way. This forum is a godsend in terms of community access to difficult to find anecdotes and strategy based outcomes.
I have already been shouting from the mountaintops to my friends and family members about what is happening to give them the facts before deciding. Two cancelled their VAS appointments. A small consolation I suppose, saving others from this fate.
While there remains much hope in terms of a non-invasive treatment based approach, the potential for the “2-12 week” recovery period happening on its own, all the way to a reconstructive reversal, I find myself in mourning.
I am mourning the man I was just a few short weeks ago. The things I could choose to do. Working out, drinking a beer, making love to my wife without the threat of pain, playing with my kids, taking a walk, working on my home…sleeping with only the threat of our 4 year old barging in to ask for someone to snuggle with him. I am mourning the man I was to my wife and the father I was to my children. I cannot and will not let this regret haunt me. But I am experiencing deep regret just the same. The feeling of devastation that I am experiencing seems to be one you have all gone through in your own way.
What have you found helpful to move past the regret and into acceptance?