Post Vasectomy Pain Forum

That scene from The Office does a lot of harm

First off, I want to say thank you to the members of of this forum. I’m 33 years and have known my entire life that I do not want kids. Long story short, as I’ve gotten to that age where people kept telling me I would change, I realize that I’m not going to. Which has made me seriously consider a vasectomy more than ever before. To the point of being on the verge of just doing it a couple of times. But, as I did more and more research, being that it’s been more than just an idea in recent years, it did start to seem a bit fishy how widespread and unanimous the support for vasectomies is, even among doctors and the medical community. With virtually no information available on the side effects and complications. I also became aware of the mental aspect of it too that I had never really considered before. It’s one thing to think about how you might feel as a sterile man, it’s another thing for it to actually be your reality. And that the onset of mental issues can occur at any time, which is something that really actually gave me more pause than the possibility of dealing with mild physical discomfort (which in itself was enough of a concern).

Anywho, this was one such morning I decided to do some research, and I thankfully discovered your forum. Your discussions over the past several months have absolutely swayed me in the direction that it is simply not worth the risk. I have a lot of things I want to do with my life that I am very much looking forward to, especially knowing that I do not want to have kids or settle down in that regard. And I would hate for that to come to a screeching halt by undergoing a procedure that I was heavily misinformed about. I just need to be very cautious and never let up in regards to birth control. Again, thank you all for your honesty and willingness to reach out to other men.

That said, I made this account specifically so I can make this one point. I don’t know how this may or may not help, and I’ll let you guys handle the myriad of other issues on this topic. But I wanted to point one thing out to add to the overall discussion. After spending time reading these discussions, I feel terrible about it. I don’t know how familiar you guys are with this show, but there is an entire generation who’s only understanding of a vasectomy is from that scene in The Office where Michael is arguing with Jan about how he went from getting a vasectomy, to then getting it reversed, to then getting the vasectomy again, to then reversing it again. He angrily says “snip, snap, snip, snap!” while making the motion of scissors. It’s obviously mean to be a joke. But it really comes off as making it seem that easy. Or rather, that was already the public’s understanding, this just very much reinforces the stereotype. For that to be seen as a funny joke, and not the extreme that it actually is, even just by joking about it, is really concerning. A joke like that could never be made about a woman for even the slightest of procedures, let alone if the context of that joke had it so that the man in her life was pressuring her to do so. And yet, if you went up to anybody, ANYBODY, within millennial age range, and said the word vasectomy, the first thing they are going to think about is that scene in The Office and how funny it was. I don’t fault the writers or the actors here, this isn’t against them. Just that the ignorance of vasectomies is abound, and with this scene being the vehicle by which most people in an entire generation are told how to perceive vasectomies, it’s only going to continue.

Anyways, I just wanted to bring that to the attention this forum. Perhaps, as you continue to advocate against vasectomies, especially if you are talking to a millennial, reference this scene, and tell them it is not that easy, and that it’s exactly that kind of public perception that is going to ruin a lot of men’s lives. I just hope more guys my age do the research and come to this forum, because I know there is about to be a huge spike in these procedures as more and more guys my age are realizing once and for all we don’t want to have kids and settle for the traditional family life, and we want to do something about it.

Well, the thing to do is use protection. Not get yourself sterilized.

3 Likes

Totally agree, and you would not believe how many times that office scene gets reposted to reddit. At least weekly.

On top of all of the other reasons not to talk about complications of vasectomy, those of us who might consider complaining about the toll vasectomy has taken on our bodies are instantly pigeonholed as buffoons, no small thanks to this one gag.

This mainstream attitude, which is what convinced so many of us to go into this situation without our guard up, is partly a consequence of the grift that urologists are engaged in. They see this attitude. They see women who are ignorant of what could happen to their partner, and who as a result conclude that their reticent partner is not willing to take even the trivial risk of a weekend with frozen peas. The urologists see the very heavy pressure placed on men to get this thing done. They could speak up. They could correct the record. But they don’t. They egg her on.

“He doesn’t want one? Unacceptable. You haul your so-called partner back in here and I want him to tell me to my face why he is unwilling to get a vasectomy. Who are you married to? Michael Scott?”

Think I’m exaggerating? Not by much.

https://twitter.com/MicahJHillDO/status/1191051173362577409

They see the public mis-perception and it suits them just fine, so they keep their mouth shut.

4 Likes

I just thought of something to add in regards to how this procedure is pushed on men while the medical community ought to know better. I don’t mean for this to turn into a political discussion, but another clear cut example of an unproven surgery being pushed on people and the medical community turning a blind eye is genital mutilation surgery. Based solely on the basis that that person wants to live as the opposite sex they were born as. There are a whole host of issues concerning that person’s physical and mental well being. And yet, by a good portion of society, this surgery is totally acceptable for somebody to do.

The only reason I compare it to vasectomies is that I unfortunately don’t have much hope that research advocating against vasectomies is going to hit the main stream any time soon. If we can’t even get people to believe that genital mutilation surgery shouldn’t be done on people, how can we get people to understand that vasectomies ought not to be done either. Further, if medical professionals themselves are going forward with genital mutilation surgery on a person, how can we possibly get them to stop promoting vasectomies for men.

Here is a gif I found that purports to describe the process of surgically converting male genitals into female genitals. I will break the link so there is no preview for people who do not want to check it out. It’s pretty graphic.

imgur[dot]com/r/interestingasfuck/1vHMDNN

Given my experience with a vasectomy, I cannot imagine what the recovery is like after going through that blender of an operation.

I won’t get into the politics on this one either, since that is out of scope for the forum, but I certainly hope doctors are able to check their economic incentives and political convictions at the door and be very up front about the recovery and possible long term complications for people seeking to surgically reassign their genitals.

1 Like

I’m so happy for you that you actually did research and found this site! I wish I did more research prior to making my decision. But I’m still glad I found this site when I did, it helped me realize that all the crazy crap was happening to me is a direct consequence of vasectomy! It was kinda pushed on me too, and not my doc nor urologist said a single thing about any type of side effects! It was supposed to give me freedom of doing it anytime anywhere, but instead I stay away from it as much as I can to avoid crazy reaction after words… but I have hopes to feel normal again after I do reversal and not have that pressure pain in my sack 24/7.

1 Like