I wish I’d come across this forum, or done any kind of research, before having my vasectomy last Thursday. I’ve read lots of your stories and am frankly scared that I might have a similar outcome: that I might have a ruined sex life, or suffer chronic pain. Like so many of you, I thought this procedure was safe, routine, and without any side effects. It was easier than asking my wife to be on birth control for 10 more years, where side effects include “potentially fatal blood clots.” Seemed like an easy choice. I’ll take one for the team, honey.
The first few days post-op, I experienced the expected discomfort. Iced my balls, took OTC pain meds, didn’t lift anything heavy. On day four, my young niece and nephew came over and I ran around with them in the yard for a few minutes. It felt uncomfortable, but I didn’t think much of it. Two days later, my right testicle developed a constant, dull ache. The day after that, pain was fine. For the past two days, however, the pain in my right nut has returned and has been constant. I looked and noticed that my right testicle is noticeably lower than the left, and seems a bit canted (angled). It’s almost like it floats more freely in my scrotum. I wonder if my activity, or the procedure itself, damaged whatever tissue holds up the testicles. The pain is very localized to the side, close to my body. My left testicle is perfectly fine, and if both were this way, I’d say I was pleased with the procedure and buy into all the stories about what a no-brainer it is. I’m worried that my testicle is twisted, or pressure has been put on the connective tissue. It’s almost impossible to get my testicle in a position that relieves the pain.
I haven’t had sex or ejaculated yet. Frankly, I’m afraid to. Even before coming to this forum, I was concerned about it. I’m sadly ignorant about my own reproductive anatomy, but it seems to me that if sperm come through the vas during orgasm, and the vas are sealed, then… where does the sperm go? Is my nut going to feel like it’s exploding? I feel almost absurd, as a grown man, asking a question about my equipment that sounds like something my toddler would ask about dinosaurs.
Six days out, I spoke to the doctor’s office about my pain, thinking it should be better. They told me I can expect pain for up to a month. Why doesn’t the paperwork say this? Why doesn’t anyone say this? The discharge paperwork says 3-5 days of no heavy lifting, and to resume normal sexual activity after 7. That’s it. Frankly, I don’t feel like sex. I’m worried it won’t feel the same, and when your nuts hurt, you don’t really feel like doing much, even sitting still. The inability to exercise is terrible at a time when I could use the mental and physical release, but I’m afraid that bouncing around will just make things worse.
Another thing that I think would sound trivial to some – my scrotum looks completely different. I noticed it last night. When I pulled my shaft up to inspect my uneven testicles, I noticed that there was more of a batwing/baby bird thing going on. My balls were less attached to my penis, and they looked weird. This minor cosmetic difference bothers me. Even though our balls are tucked away in pants all the time, I think it’s fair to say this must be (a fraction of) what it feels like for a woman when she has an operation on her breasts to remove cancer. The difference is that a woman knows full well that the operation will affect the appearance of her organs. No such thing is advertised for a vasectomy. I wonder if any of you have noticed this, and if it bothers you.
I hope that my dull ache goes away, but I already feel like something is lost, that I made an incalculable and irreversible mistake. As a circumcised man who did not have a say in the removal of something else around my genitals, I am doubly horrified that I brought this change upon myself without at least doing my homework. With 30-40 years (hopefully) of sex before me still, I’m worried that I completely effed myself. I know it’s early, but something just doesn’t feel right.
I have at least one friend whose wife is pressuring him to get a vasectomy, but he is opposed for religious reasons. To him, it doesn’t seem right to intervene in nature in this way. After making this intervention myself, I understand what he means. The body is a beautiful, complex machine, and we so often make reckless decisions that upset its delicate ecosystems. What hubris we have to believe that we can just make a snip without any side effects. I will be sure to point my friend to this resource, and urge him to do his homework so that he has more to talk about with his wife.
The last thing I’ll say is that I plan to keep you all posted, as I think stories (numerous as they already are on this forum) are helpful. It’s good to know we are not alone. Thank you for listening.