Why Choo, if I didn’t know any better I’d say you sound like a paranoid conspiracy monger, lol…
For me having pain down there has been a libido killer. I think the psychological side may be of equal or greater importance though. Like Choo said, there is no reason it cant be a combination of both.
The ability of a man to confidently know he can provide for himself, and therefore provide for his partner is really important to a guys well being too. When you struggle to get through the week it’s tough to feel confident in your ability to be a provider and feel like a good partner. Feeling bad at your job suddenly because you have trouble sitting/lifting/standing all day is hard on your self worth. Needing someone as opposed to feeling needed, strong, desirable etc… I think being put in a position like that of vulnerability and neediness is can leads to the resentment because suddenly you no longer have power or equity in a relationship. Ugh, these things are tough to contemplate.
I would not discount hormone levels either though. It couldn’t hurt. My levels in 2013 were around 500 and then last summer they are mid 300s. I got tested because I noticed a huge drop off in energy, strength and libido.
You are in a tough situation @Worriedwife1. You can’t push your husband to do these things if he doesn’t want to and that has to be hard.
If you don’t mind me asking how is your husbands recover faring? These things can get better with time.