Hello everybody, Jim from Illinois here. Joined this board as of 10 minutes ago. Scheduled for a vasectomy for this Friday at 11:30. Cancelling it tomorrow morning. I can’t say enough how thankful I am to have discovered your group. Your stories convinced me to seek other paths with my spouse. I had a free minute this evening, and wanted to do some Google research about possible complications for my upcoming surgery. You opened my eyes. Your sharing of your stories have helped convince me to avoid an unnecessary chance. I want to truly say thank you for that.
Great choice very wise man
Jim, you’re making a good, conservative (not in political sense) move. This group shows and has proven by consolidating the research that the risks of vasectomy are FAR underestimated by most urologists. Most of us got the lines that you’re probably getting. “Never had a bad outcome”, “one in a million”, etc.
The reality is that anywhere from 1/15 to as high as 1/6 end up seeking medical treatment for complications following a vasectomy and 1-2/100 end up with chronic, long-term, sometimes permanent pain.
That means, of course, that the odds are in your favor. I freely admit that 14/15 or 5/6 will be fine, but that’s not good enough IMO for an entirely elective surgery. And NO ONE tells us the odds are this bad.
To give you an idea of how insidious the urological and vasectomy industry is, the leader of the anti-vasectomy voice at my local hospital system, the Cleveland Clinic, passed away in late 2018. He had retired in 2006 but was teaching bioethics (hint, hint). His predecessor got promoted to President of the entire system, and they hired a new head of fertility. Right away, the Cleveland Clinic’s website started downplaying the risk stating PVPS is “one-in-a-million.” On behalf of this group, I pointed them to numerous reports, including some from their own leadership, and got them to revise the website.
Urology has become like agenda-driven journalism (on both sides) today. Truth be damned, we need population control and we need the fees, so a few guys getting maimed are acceptable risks.
Good move on your part.
I’m wondering when the urology industry is going to digest the new prostate cancer studies. Leaving 1:50 of your patients with a crippled sex life is one thing. Giving 1:100 of your patients cancer is quite another.
This article says that 300-400 women die from oral birth control every year in the USA:
These articles say that out of 72.2 million women in the USA, 12.6% use oral birth control:
Out of 9.1 million women taking the pill, 300-400 die every year, or in standard terms 4 per 100,000 women die from oral birth control.
Meanwhile, vasectomy increases your relative risk of lethal prostate cancer by 10%, from 1:41 to 1:37.
So, again in standard terms, 244 per 100,000 men will die from prostate cancer from vasectomy.
I expect it to take a long time for this data to make its way out of the blind spot. I have been making some heads explode in twitter. One woman responded that the prostate cancer risk didn’t matter because she was only concerned with the acute surgical risks of tubal ligation. She then immediately blocked me before I could ask her what the acute risks are of swallowing an oral birth control pill.
I’m happy for you in that you feel you made the best decision based on the information you discovered. This site is very biased. We don’t try to hide that. The most important thing is you work with your wife to make sure everyone feels good about your (both of you) birth control strategy. It’s give and take and there are lot’s of non-surgical, non-hormonal options out there. That you were considering it shows you care about your wife. When one partner has a bad outcome though it ends up harming both and surgery is a generally permanent solution to a temporary problem.
Hey @IllinoisJim. Welcome to the forum, and thanks for sharing your thoughts.
I completely agree with @MikeO that this forum is very biased in regard to vasectomies.
Vasectomies aren’t like buying a ford pinto that might blow up when it gets rear-ended. Vasectomy involves many aspects of your life, your overall well being, mind body, etc, that we all take for granted everyday. You can buy another car before yours blows up, and like many other parables - you will likely move on with ease and forget about the situation like you always have. As another basically said, when this procedure goes wrong it will likely create a lot of problems in your life. Problems that the vast majority of people don’t see coming because they basically knew next to nothing about this topic beforehand.
In real life, this topic is very taboo. People don’t talk about it. Statistically speaking, the majority of men that have a vasectomy don’t tell anyone about it with the exception of their wife. Given the proper situation, men are more than willing to talk about their vasectomies, pain, side effects, etc, but for the most part, they remain silent, don’t step up and talk about it with everyone, and they do that for many reasons. Thoughts and words like - embarrassing, fear of ridicule, fear of being picked on, fear of causing a scene, etc, are just a few of the reasons that men are generally silent about this topic.
I’m a big fan of real data myself. Assuming you haven’t already, if you or anyone else wants to look over some real studies, real data, real numbers, etc - @Ethan_Scruples has posted a pile of relevant studies, data, etc, in our library section. It’s tough to argue with real data. Many members have posted a lot of real data on this site in various topics, but nobody on this site has put as much time and effort into digging up that kind of information, creating pie charts, graphs, collecting data, sharing it with everyone, etc, as Ethan.
You and/or anyone else that isn’t familiar with real vasectomy related statistics is probably wondering why men and women aren’t being told about all of this stuff beforehand. IMHO, the answer is complicated, yet simple. The answer to that question boils down to medical politics of sorts.
So. First off, thank you all for the supportive words. Second, I just called the office. I said
I would like to cancel my appointment for Friday due to concerns. The receptionist asked why, and I mentioned I had researched pvp. She asked what that was (red flag 1). I told her it is the possibility of chronic pain that arises after the fact. Ready for this???..she laughed. “Well I’ve never heard of that!” she said. I kindly said that the concern outweighed the benefits of the procedure to me. She laughed again. I was furious, and in all honesty, never wanted to tell someone to get f***ed so bad in a long time. But, I took the high road and just said “thanks for laughing, appreciate it. Cancel my appointment.” I’m sitting here in disbelief.
Yup. This is pretty much how they will treat you if you are still in pain a month after the vasectomy too. The doctor won’t talk to you. The receptionist will tell you to put ice on and not to worry.
As Warren Buffet so wisely said, “never ask a barber if you need a haircut.” Or, to use another analogy, that receptionist has consumed plenty of urological Kool-Aid. Only problem with that analogy is she’s not at risk, you are (were).
Very smart choice. I remember that day for me as well when I was thinking to cancel my vasectomy. I thought to myself what if something goes wrong after the vasectomy, but sadly I never phoned to cancel and actually went through it that day. The biggest mistake of my life that has crippled me sexually ever since then of feeling sexually worn out and not able to function as often as before, a permanent extreme reduction occurred for me. And alot of men have also reported that they cannot bring their sexual functioning to the full extent as before, and used these exact words, that “the money shot” is no longer there, that they “cannot go for a second run anymore whereas before the vasectomy they were able”, “orgasm is not the same”, “painful erections”, “ejaculate quicker”, these are all indications that the vasectomy did in fact reduce their/ my sexual capability for whatever nerves or tissues that were cut yet doctors don’t reveal this to every guy seeking a vasectomy and there should be a law against this.
It seems that a man’s sexual functioning is not important enough to doctors and hospitals or else that would be the very first thing a doctor would tell a guy seeking a vasectomy that quite alot of men have reported a sexual difference, but doctors don’t even mention this at all when our sexual functioning is as important as men who don’t seek a vasectomy and as well as women.
Listen to your body and don’t be afraid to the harass your doctor. I wasn’t thrilled with the “customer service” part of my recovery. I had to call my doctor’s office multiple times to get answers to questions and I never ONCE was able to speak directly to my doctor. I always had to wait for a nurse to call me back after I left a message, and then she would send a note to the doctor who would then relay a message back to her and then the nurse would call me again. It was a ridiculous game of telephone every time. However I was not afraid to harass them to get the answers to my questions. It’s my body and my recovery is important to me so fuck them if they feel annoyed.
From this reddit post today.
Well done ,you have probably made the best decision of your life !! The receptionist laughing has incensed me .Ask her why they won’t reverse for free if there are complications post vas !!.I have upset some females with my anti-vas opinions, but have been thanked by the males .I can’t help but feel envious as I can’t even scratch my balls without acute pain .Good luck and atb Rob…
I believe the guys and gals that answer the phones at urological centres that perform vasectomies hear about all kinds of negative stuff, especially in men’s early days (first ~6-12 months). I’m absolutely certain about that.
I’m not sure what happens to the majority of these people in regard to morality, honesty, integrity, etc. It seems many if not the majority of them lack any legitimate sense of empathy. I guess that kind of behavior comes or goes with the territory. IDK for sure - but something is going on. As we see all around the world, money makes people do some very strange and unethical things. The same can be said about vasectomists among other people that work in the field of modern medicine.
I knew for absolute certain that my vasectomist was a liar when I had my first post vasectomy ultrasound. The lead tech that worked in the same town, just down the street for many years completely contradicted everything my vasectomists told me - the idea that significant complications are very rare, the usual bullshit, rainbows and unicorns, etc. She (the ultrasound tech) told me that they see men for vasectomy related pain all the time. She was appalled when I shared my written informed consent and verbal informed concent information with her. Given what I know now, I’m absolutely certain who was lying.
I’m not here to stop anyone from getting a vasectomy. I could care less what people do to themselves. I just like to see men be completely informed about what the hell they are getting themselves involved in beforehand. It’s called making an informed decision. This half ass stuff these practitioners are legally getting away with these days… It’s mind boggling.
So true dominic, it’s body mutilation. This is sold to our wives and you are made to feel like an arsehole if you don’t have with this body altering safe as procedure. We are just fools to get on the table. Why does it work okay for some men. Or are we to scared to say anything because we are ridiculed and told it is all in your head. Vasectomy and tubal ligation should be band. Just to many lives are destroyed.
Spot on Ringo. Too many of us have shared virtually the same story for this to be coincidental. We were all given way understated risks and, like you said, others in the medical community know this. My most recent Pain Management doc slipped and let me know he sees 20-30 guys PER YEAR for vasectomy related pain. He’s just one guy.
Yes a vasctomy is mutilation and vasectomies and tubal ligation should both be banned, especially vasectomies since they cause a far greater difference to sexual functioning as alot of men have reported but most men don’t seem to notice a difference, unless those men who think its exactly the same as before maby don’t realize theyre reaching climax quicker. Reaching it quicker especially 50% quicker means not able to maintain an erection as long as before the cut and is actually a 50% reduction of a man’s sexual capability but men don’t realize this.
NO MAN should ever be ashamed or be scared to say “THE HELL with a vasectomy you couldn’t pay me all the money in the world to get it.” All men should be proud of what nature has given us and that is sexual functioning to orgasm strictly for pleasure and if women and men don’t care for intercourse there is so many other ways to engage in sexual activities without pregnancy, unless other men and women want kids. And a man’s sexual functioning and orgasm is as equally important as a woman’s, its strictly for pleasure, and doctors and hospitals need to believe this and need to start caring so they can inform all men seeking a vasectomy of ALL the possible risks that are being reported since day one including the difference in sexual functioning which is the most important. You can give me prostate cancer at 80 or 90 but you can’t reduce or take away my sexual pleasures by giving me a cut.
Excellent choice. You were very lucky to find this website.
Others, including myself, were not as lucky. I did some research before my procedure, saw something about PVPS but I was blinded by my sister, brother in law, and a colleague at work about this “safe” procedure.
I reversed in March and feel a lot has has come back already. Not all but most.
I have talked to many guys who have done vasectomy, who look normal, but found out they are not. One told me “I’m not yet 100% but it was the best decision of my life”. Another is a neighbor, young guy with two kids, who grew a large beer belly after vasectomy. I had it too: worked hard to get rid of it.
Vasectomy is the worst thing any man should think of going for. You made the best decision and good luck. Use condoms. I’m going to !!