Finding this forum was like a breath of fresh air. Nobody believes me when I tell them my story. Apparently it is all mental.
I had my vasectomy done in January 2015. Since then my life has been a living hell. Prior to the procedure I was fit, active, generally a positive person, and I felt like a man. Since, I deal with severe depression, panic attacks, ED, and my wife cheated on me. Everyday I feel more and more emasculated.
I noticed the problems immediately. When I went in for my follow up I told the doc I had not had an erection since the procedure and the sample was obtained partially limp. He told me it was mental and gave me trials of Viagra.
The Viagra would help me obtain an erection, but I would often lose it during intercourse. I went back for a follow up and he said I had blood in my urine and wanted to do a scope. I had the procedure done and the scope did not reveal any issues, nor did my follow up urine sample. I had lifted heavily prior to the initial urine sample and found later that could cause blood in the urine.
Another month went by and I went back and told him something wasn’t right. He did a testosterone test and my levels were at 190 so he started treatment for low T.
At this point, I had started experiencing severe bouts of depression and had my first panic attack. I had never had a panic attack in my life to that point. My depression was so bad that I went to my primary to discuss treatment options. This was about a month after starting treatment for Low T. My doctor ordered me to stop the treatment and put me on what was the first of many antidepressants.
From this point the slide began further. Many of the medications made my depression worse. My ED issues had prompted my wife to have an affair. Finding this out caused me to slide to the mental depths of hell. By this time I stopped working out and putting on weight. Since the procedure I have gained 60lbs.
It has been 4 1/2 years since the procedure and 3 1/2 since the affair. I found an antidepressant to help curb some of the severe bouts of depression, but it only somewhat helps.The panic attacks haven’t gone away nor had the ED. I have spent multiple hours in counseling and seen multiple doctors. Everyone keeps telling me it is mental.
My wife and I are still trying to pick up the pieces of our marriage. She finally told me that she cannot be with me at my current weight and general state of unhappiness. Fix it or else.
I don’t know what to do or where to turn. The only thing keeping me from ending it all is my kids. I couldn’t do that to them. Everday I feel more and more emasculated and exhausted with life.