Post Vasectomy Pain Forum

2 books that I have found helpful for getting my mind better which is helping me heal

Hi all,
First off, my apologies that you are here. I wish you were not for your sake. I am currently 3 weeks post reversal and I am also trying to avoid this forum as I heal. With that said, I wanted to post 2 books that I am finding extremely helpful in aiding my recovery. This is a little hippy but I have been reading the science on how stress can prevent healing since your body is producing cortisol and not putting energy into healing.

Anyways, I have found the books “You are the Placebo” and “The Tapping Solution for Pain” have positively impacted my mental side. That seems to be helping me heal better. It all could be nonsense but what do I gotta lose. Candidly, I am seeing positive results. Maybe it’s all fake or a placebo effect. I don’t care. I am focused on recovery and they are not hurting. Someone else posted the tapping solution. Recently here and it too benefited here.

Based on those 2 books, i am meditating daily. I was never one of those people before. This does seem to reduce my pain levels when I do it.

2 weeks ago, I was really really negative. Now I am trusting in my body that it can heal. Anyways, it might not be for everyone and it might be a bunch bs. I just figured i would post a general topic here for everyone either post vasectomy or post reversal.

My best to everyone in their individual recovery.

(Please, if you have anything negative to say, please don’t “at” me. I am working on only positive thoughts.)

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I am reading another book and I swear my nerve pain just went down because of it.

It’s called “Mind Over Medicine”. It’s similar to these other books though written by a former doctor. It makes a lot of sense. I am still glad I got the reversal though I wonder if I could have avoided it if my head was at a better place after the snip. Anyways, I suggest it to this group as maybe it will help. So far just 2 chapters in and feeling super confident I achieve pain free if my mind is up to it.

Best of luck.

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Thank you for this post - it is a good reminder to pick the books back up and continue working on the mental healing. I’ve have not read these yet so will add them to the list.

I believe a lot of us underestimate our own ability to influence and control our perception of pain and how much it impacts us. I was certainly very skeptical of this at first myself but have since come around and done a lot of work to get my mind right.

A few short videos I found interesting on this topic:



Thanks for the videos and good comments. I was EXTREMELY skeptical. Now, whenever to feel pain, I either listen to a talk or do a mediation and it really helps calms the nerves (literally speaking) and calms the pain.

After reading more and more, I see how I was a terrible candidate for the snip given my massive apprehension around it and general sense of high stress and nerves.

Thanks for the videos. They are added to my arsenal of calmers. And my thoughts and prayers to everyone on this board. Heal onward.

I just watched those. Those are super interesting and continue to give me hope. What a trip this nerve pain items are.

A real story on me yesterday which makes a bit more sense thanks to the videos you shared. I had pelvic therapy yesterday (4 weeks post reversal). The last few days I had experienced tons of sharp stabbing pains in the testies. She worked solely on my stomach inguinal area to release nerves according to the PT. During it, i felt these crazy sensations where all the way up to my head went numb. Since that appt, no stabbing pains. She keeps telling me that we can get the nerves calmed down and happy since it’s so close to the the surgery, and I can beat this pain long term. Now I get the why thanks to the ted talk.

And I am super hopeful she beat the nerve pain after the original vasectomy. The epi’s just got congested and those clips kept causing scar tissue. So If I am only dealing with nerve pain and can solve it a few months post reversal before it chronic, i will get my life back! Thanks again for sharing. As my analytical mind want to understand vs blind faith.

And as those books all say, optimum and belief you can heal has scientifically been proven to increase your chance of success. Conversely, negative thoughts yield stress and prevent healing. Thanks for the optimism!

I’ve thought similar Things about myself. I’ve alwus been a bit of a hypochondriac. Going into this I wasn’t so worried because it seemed trivial and everyone I knew that had done it seemed to be fine, but once things wernt shaping out so well I quickly went from 0-100 in a very bad direction mentally.

I often wonder to why extend I was doomed to develope these problems just purely based on something the surgeon did or my physiology or sperm production and to what extend I caused or made it worse, such as by having a poor mental additive towards my prospects for recovery, ejuculating too soon maybe (at two days), lifting too soon, ect.

I have been trying to improve my mental additive like you have been lately and it seems to help.

I’m glad you found them interesting - even happier to hear how well your mental state + PT is helping. I would be remiss if I did not give credit for the videos to Dr. Susie Gronski who shared them with me. I guess she could tell I needed a little more convincing :wink:

One thing I initially struggled with when a doctor/therapist would try to tell me “pain is in your brain” is that I took it as an insinuation that it wasn’t real. That was not what any of them meant of course, as the feeling is indeed very real, but we do have some ability to control to what degree it impacts us. It took me a while to accept and eventually embrace that.

She also recommended these books so passing them along here:

  1. Explain Pain
  2. The Brain That Changes Itself
  3. Pain Heroes
  4. Your Brain in Pain
  5. Why Pelvic Pain Hurts?

I have not read any of them yet so can’t comment directly. Will continue to watch this thread for recommendations / feedback though.

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Almost 7 months post-vas and still working to try to get my head around the pain I’m feeling. But from what I’ve learned, chronic stress seems to me to be the most likely underlying cause of my issues. Will definitely add the books discussed here to my reading list - Explain Pain was recommended by my PT and after watching the posted TED talk by the author (Moseley), will make sure I get to that soon.

Man, I feel you. The hardest thing is realizing we just walked in and did this to ourselves. I was happy, healthy and functioning before, albeit carried stress and worry.

I just am coming off of 4 weeks post reversal. I don’t wish a vasectomy or the even more crappy reversal on anyone. I do wonder if I would have not done the reversal if started on these books first.

With that said, I clearly had unhappy epi’s at 5 and 6 months after I beat the first round of nerve and inflammation. That feeling is gone post reversal but I am dealing with nerve issues now. With getting my mind right through the help of continual motivation books about people beating horrific diseases like cancer and even beating pelvic issues, plus my an epic pelvic floor pt who specializes in pain, I now believe I can get 100% right. So far, while focusing right, i seem to be healing better now with virtually no pain meds. I attribute my mindset this go around. And yes, I have bad days like just last night and was in pain. Thanks Advil for helping out.

One book I just finished asked a really interesting question. I thought it was a good exercise. Ask your body, or as they call it “inner pilot light”, what do you need to heal? Think 10-20 minutes on it in a relaxing state. That helped focus my mind on heal versus stressing on the “wtf did i do” which doesn’t help healing.

I am not a success story yet but will be soon I believe. Fingers crossed and everything else.

Good luck my friend and everyone here.

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I was also a very healthy person prior to the vas - never really dealt with a medical issue more serious than a cold or mild flu. That being said, i do realize now that I was harboring a lot more anxiety than the average person. That anxiety was probably always present, but I believe the stress levels picked up a notch after becoming a father, which coincided with greater professional demands. Prior to the vas, I just worked through it, and on some levels, the anxiety actually helped me professionally. Then, unfortunately, I had the vas at a very stressful point in my life - things I had been dealing with professionally and personally for a few months, likely put me in a horrible place to have the vas. But at the time, I had no idea what was going on exactly or that chronic stress could even lead to physical issues.

Then when I started experiencing pain after the vas, and the urologist that performed the procedure offered no help, and everything I read said that I should be fully healed in two weeks, my anxiety spiked to a really unhealthy level. I honestly feel that if my urologist had been more open about the risks and counseled me in a way that made me believe that it might just take me longer to heal, my anxiety wouldn’t have spiked so much, and perhaps I wouldn’t be dealing with the issues that I’m dealing with now. Impossible to know for sure.

Good luck with your recovery. Another book worth checking out is the Relaxation Response by Herbert Benson. I’m guessing a lot of the themes in that book are similar to what you find in the others, but Dr. Benson was a pioneer in the Mind Body connection and his work was ground breaking when the book originally came out in the 1970s and is still widely cited today.

I could not describe my initial post vasectomy circumstances any better than you have done above. It sounds exactly like a lot of the thoughts/feelings/stress I experienced before and after. I have some PTSD just dealing with how I was treated by doctors when things weren’t going right. I wish my initial physicians had just been a little more compassionate and understanding upfront. Maybe things wouldn’t have spiraled out of control.

A few weeks ago, I was at my dentists office for a routine 6 month appointment. My dental hygienist was late getting me back to the room, which has never happened in 10 years. Lo and behold, my vasectomy urologist walks out into the waiting room. He was late to his appointment, which made them late to mine. I about had a full blown panic attack. The emotion that hit me at that moment was unbearable and when I finally went back to the room, I broke down. It is unbelievably embarrassing. When I got home that night, I realized that I’m not upset that he was the one who did this to me. Honestly, another operating urologist wouldn’t have changed the outcome because it’s just my body that can’t handle being vasectomized. I was upset because of the way I was treated afterwards. It would have been unbelievably helpful if they had acknowledged things weren’t right and started treating me accordingly, instead of looking down on me and pretending I was faking it. I’m sure my story in here would reveal that things got better when physicians started actually trying to help instead of deflecting. My original doc will never know the extent to which he damaged my trust of the medical community, and how much damage he did to me mentally, physically, and emotionally.

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Spot on Kyvas. My vasectomist treated my like some interloper who was purposely ruining his pristine record. He kicked me to the curb once all the unnecessary tests proved my problem wasn’t bladder, kidney, or something other than the vas at his hands. There’s no excuse for the urological community to be so uncaring toward us.

The only thing that restored my faith was Dr. Thomas at the Cleveland Clinic. After talking to my wife and me (and I had been in mind-numbing pain for 5 months at this point), he put his arm around me on my shoulder, looked at my wife, and said “let’s get your husband back to you and your family.” I still tear up at Dr. Thomas’ compassion. Apparently, that’s just who he was. Since his passing a couple years ago, th Cleveland Clinic began giving an award in his name for compassion and empathy.

https://my.clevelandclinic.org/-/scassets/files/org/patient-experience/bioethics/empathy-and-valuing-call-2019.ashx?la=en

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You all are hitting the nail on the head. I really did not want the original snip but felt some pressure and some obligations. I was very anxious and nervous and took for lever to heal post surgery. In hindsight, I blame myself for not listening to my inner voice.

Now, I am working on “filing the events in the past” as my pt calls it and moving forward. It’s really interesting, i am doing one course / meditation on this and it seems to be helping me move on. I still slip up but everyday getting better.

Regarding, the doc, I am not a violent person at all but I wanted to hit him the urologist during a week 8 appointment when I was in pain. He looked at me and he just said “deal with it, it could take years.” Seriously, no compassion or help. In the book “Mind Over Medicine” they talk about some data that points outs more compassionate positive doctors have better patient outcomes than cold non positive docs even if medical operations / work is the same. I would not have believed any of this before. Now i truly believe our minds really have a major impact into the outcome.

Though, despite my head not being in a good place pot snip, i still believe the snip was bad as I eventually healed from the vasectomy and then got worse as my epi’s felt terrible all the time starting month 4 post snip. I am still limited and sore from the reversal being just a month past that but I feel like I am healing better this time around and epi’s don’t have that crappy feeling. I think I am glad I got the reversal though time will tell. So I thinks it both mind and body.

As always, Good luck gents.

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