Violence and suicidal thoughts


It’s come to my attention that some people are actually advocating violence on the forum.

I’m not tolerating that at all.

I’ve sent a PM to those that I’ve been pointed out to - if you can’t have a reasonable discussion online, I am more than happy to ban you. This forum is run out of my own time and is funded by myself and people who are kind enough to contribute funds to do so.

If you’re unsure of the guidelines to this forum - you can find them here:

But the short version is really simple:

Please feel free to flag messages that are inappropriate to civil discussion.

The second issue is more difficult. If you are seriously contemplating suicide - that isn’t a joke. Posting polls with suicide as an option isn’t going to help anybody. Ideation for suicide does lead to increased odds of suicide and frankly - I’m not going to allow discussions that have any chance of leading to the same outcome as Alan Frazier on the old Yahoo group.

If you are considering suicide - please seek professional help. This forum is useful - the old Yahoo forum was a lifesaver for myself and many others on the site. But if you are considering killing yourself - you need to seek professional help.


Although I’m actually quiet the pacifist. I think in the end it is not that strange that you start saying such things after having pain for several months or years that was inflicted by someone who did know of the risks but was to selfish to mention them. So I do understand your point but in the end I’m the last one to be surprised if someone indeed goes haywire… But I know I did cross the line (several times), for which I’m of course willing to apologize.


The quote above is exactly why you do not want to be a part of posting such thoughts, and/or actions in this forum, or online period.

Nobody should be any part of any sort far as encouraging anyone to harm themselves, or another in the process. Some men with pvp/s are already on the edge enough. Explicit dark comments are counter productive, and unhealthy.

We are the victims here, but that doesn’t give any of us a licence to post irresponsibly. Some of us have seen explicit dark comments, and/or posts that didn’t seem to out of the ordinary become reality, and I know I don’t want to see that again. I don’t want that for Vic, or anyone period.

This forum is a valuable resource, and explicit dark content puts this forum at risk far as it’s very existence. It puts men with pvp/s at higher risk as well.

Considering what some of us have seen in the past already, explicit dark content has no place here.


Thanks @victor for the post. These are important things to remember. PVPS is certainly a life changing event. Many people may not understand the history but do a quick google search on Alan Frazier. We all have our highs and our lows. This site has been valuable to so many of us in need. As many old timers know, violence will only hinder the progress we’ve made with PVPS. We’re all guilty of cavalier comments.

Considering our circumstances, I’d hate to see a frustrated reaction be the final straw for someone else’s poor decision.


All very true ^^^

I’ve seen Alan’s name, and story come up on here many times. Seems the majority of times I’ve seen his name come up, it’s not in healthy conversation.

Guys like myself used to post right along side with him, and many others. He wasn’t a maniac. He wasn’t an a-hole. He didn’t drop eff bombs in the forum. He was well mannered, and a nice guy. I don’t think anyone knew where he was really at mentally.

His story lives on, and is usually associated with a “botched vasectomy”. I don’t think many of us “old timers” see it that way. He was just another guy with pvp/s.


All I’m going to say to this is THANK YOU ALL. For the old Yahoo group and this forum. For providing a window into our world to those who do not really understand what we all go through on daily bases. Plus providing a resource and a tool to those who might be considering Vasectomy.
Until That day when Dr.P told me about the Yahoo group for the longest time I felt so alone. Plus have some Doctors doubting you and then wife even questions why you feel like crap all the time. But as I remember posting my story in forum as suggested by Dr.P , I then began to read stories from other members and how symptoms were just like mine. The same symptoms/location and type of pain I have been telling doctor after doctor. The hair on back of neck stood up and all those emotions of years and years of pain came out that day. Lets keep it civil and clean to help others like us who fell victim under the cloak of “oh its just a snip and you go back to work Monday no problem” and to educate those who are considering going under the knife. To stop them from making a life altering mistake.
Thanks VIC and many other Members,Doctors and victims like myself.
PS:sorry for rant but I saw the top headline and just jolted me to reply.


Yes BRAVO to Victor for taking action. He single handedly and quite deftly exploded the biggest falsehood in urological literature regarding rates of chronic pain that result from vasectomy. I don’t even think he broke a sweat. He also saved this community when it was nearly destroyed by setting up this board.

Anger is understandable but expressions of anger that even hint at violence are not only morally indefensible but damaging, counterproductive and serve to marginalize this community/us.