I stumbled across this website a few times over the past weeks as I’ve been looking for information – not so much about pain, but about regret and depression.
While I take responsibility for making a terrible decision to go forward with the vas, I’m equally upset with the medical system (ProMedica in Ohio) for providing no counseling prior to the procedure. My consultation was 5 minutes with a gruff doctor explaining the mechanics. If, at any time, someone had asked an open ended question like, “Tell me why you are here,” I would have easily been flagged as a bad candidate. I’m sure I would have even flagged myself as a bad candidate if I had to just answer some questions out loud.
The vas itself was painful as all hell. 2-3 days after the vas, I had a crushing feeling. I knew I had made a terrible, terrible mistake. I couldn’t put my finger on it. Was it that I wanted more kids? Maybe. I talked to a psychologist (a first in my life) and he thought maybe it was the loss of control – no longer having the power to decide.
Over the past 6 weeks I think I’ve come to terms with the fact that I do want another kid, and somehow, my wife says that is what she has always wanted. (please, someone hit me over the head with a brick.)
But in addition to the wanting another kid, I feel like less of a man, less masculine. Literally 50 times a day, I ask myself how I made such a bad choice. I ask myself how I went through with something that every fiber in my body said not to do. I look at people in lines and say “I bet he can have kids.” Ugh…my brain will not let this go!
So here we are…6 weeks post vas, and I’m a mess. I want to just put the “why did I do this” thinking behind me and just move forward with options. I’m setting up consultation appointments with several reversal doctors.
Any others with immediate regret not tied to PVP? If so, how did it progress?
Let’s talk reversals. Experiences?