@Hopeful, Some humor can go a long ways when you are fighting bad situations.
I will do my best to answer your questions based on my experience, everything I've seen, and know.
First of all, lets keep in mind that the vast majority of this group suffers from pain. That's what brought us all together in the first place. We likely over emphasize the risk of nerve damage, and making things worse. All at the same time, the risks are very real. Anyone that tells you other wise is lying to you.
You can do some research on how many men have their vasectomy reversed. There are many reasons men do this, and it isn't all about fertility.
Urology likes to poopoo all over men that have their vasectomy reversed for anything other than fertility. They make claims like, men have their vasectomy reversed because they claim they have a low libido. Or, they have it reversed because of psychosomatic reasons, such as feeling disconnected, poor orgasm, etc.
There are statistics out there on how many men have their vasectomy reversed annually, and I don't buy it for a second that its all about having another child. I find that urology likes to pile bs on top of more, and more, and more bs to help strengthen their own bs. Lots of bs within urology far as vasectomy goes.
So, how many men end up with nerve damage via vasectomy? How many end up with nerve damage via reversal? I'm not the guy with all the statistics, but can tell you, vasectomy reversal doesn't involve someone taking a electro cautery pen to the ends of your vas's, and frying the ends of things. Personally, I believe the electro cautery pen causes many problems, as do the metal clips scratching on nerves down there.
Are my orgasms normal again? Yes, and no. Its been so long since I was my natural self, its hard to say what normal is anymore. I can say that, since I had my first reversal, I have had an improvement far as the disconnected thing goes. My orgasms are not horribly skewed anymore. I will note that my reversal failed 4~ years ago
Lets keep in mind that reversals fail far as return of sperm, or down the line period. You may have one side close up, perhaps both. Nevertheless, I certainly don't feel disconnected like I did post vasectomy where my boys were left hanging by the cermastic muscle only.
I know of a guy that had been shot, and suffered nerve damage. In time, things repaired themselves. No more numbness, pain, loss of motion, movement, etc. In my opinion, this is actually one thing urology banks on big time far as vasectomy working out for men. The human body is a magnificent machine that is capable of repairing itself, and/or getting used to change in many cases.
Bottom line, keep in mind why you did this to yourself in the first place. It was best for your wife and family life is my guess. I think its horrific that some men wait long as 2-4-6-8 years to feel somewhat normal post vasectomy, but to each his own. There certainly isn't a one size fits all answer to any of this other than don't have a vasectomy in the first place.
Also, for what its worth, I've seen guy's like yourself post in pain forums like this one in the past. They had it reversed, and never posted again.