I totally agree with what you just said.
If it's the mesh, and scarring that's the root of the problem, I suppose both answers are correct. If I shoot myself in the foot, and it hurts, what's the root of the problem? The gun shot, or the nerves? These opinions are being made from completely different angles IMO.
I have a lot of issues with you story far as, it sounds complicated, where to begin at this point, etc.
It sounds like you are suffering on many levels. I'm curious, what was the first problem you had here? The hernia? The vasectomy? UTI? Varicocele? Please explain better where you first started experiencing problems. What problem did you have second, etc, etc.
I know quite a bit about varicocele's as well, but in your story, all of a sudden a varicocelectomy is recommended to you. You don't say anything about your symptoms, where it all began, how big is it, etc. Hard for me to say much with nothing to go on here.
Sounds like you've had a rough go of it. Give me some more information, and I will give you my thoughts.