I’m not sure what to say here, so please don’t take anything I say wrong.
I think it sucks you didn’t get any relief from your reversal at all, and it seems to have made you a bit worse, or back to square one. Nerve damage was my number one guess far as your condition goes many moons ago.
I think you are doing the right thing distancing yourself from here at times. When you distance yourself from here, it will give you something else to think about. As you already mentioned, your life as you knew it is in shambles. I will add that spending to much time here can make it harder to move forward at minimum.
I still think it’s possible you could make a decent comeback over time. There are a few stories on here, one imperticularly stands out. That guy had pretty much every procedure known to man, and nothing helped. Some of the procedures he had seemed to make him worse.
Bottom line, after years of leaving it alone, he managed to make some decent progress. His username is a testimony to this.
Your right, 3 months post reversal isn’t much, but given the fact that you are most likely a nerve damage - neuropathic pain guy for the most part, with other possible pain sources, I think it’s going to take far longer than expected to make some headway, assuming you do make some over time, and chances are you will.
I would wait longer than 12 months. More like 18-24+ months. Total healing time on the inside with your reversal is 18 months.
I know of many that only started to see “some” improvement around 6 months into their reversals. It took more like 12-18+ months to see better progress.
Don’t give up Loz, many have suffered just like yourself and managed to make some headway eventually.
I used to be very angry w my wife years ago, and still harbor some strong resentments deep within myself. I know for a fact that us men play our part in destroying our own relationships with our wife’s far as the anger, and resentment goes, and I don’t blame us for getting so upset.
I was like you in the sense that I was railroaded into the vasectomy despite my wishes, and reservations about it. Not good. I’m not you, and you not me, but perhaps in time, things will get better, not perfect, IDK.
In my case, I had to sort myself out before the anger, and resentment destroyed what was left of my life. I made better progress with this by taking a very long break from forums like this one.
If I had any advice, stop feeling, touching, messing with yourself down there. Try to get on your feet and do a little something here, and there. Any stretching you can do should be helpful, but don’t over do it. 3 months post reversal in your shoes isn’t much. Keep on with whatever it takes to help manage your pain.
I wish you the best of luck brother. I think it’s possible things may turn around eventually.