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Post Vasectomy Pain Forum

Low Libido After Vas


#1

I’m wondering how many of you started out with low libido which gradually improved over time.

My husband said his sex drive became low after the vasectomy. I don’t know if this had something to do with the pain he had right away, if it’s psychological (don’t hate me for saying that!!! He didn’t want to get it so I could see it having some negative psychological impacts), or if it’s directly related to the vas itself). I have seen posts of men saying their sex drive tanked after but I’m concerned it won’t come back. He used to want it all the time, more than I could give. I just want some normalcy back.


#2

Mine dropped since the vas. Some of its psychological but not all of it. Chronic pain, independent of vasectomy, has long been known to kill libido. I would strongly encourage him to have his testosterone levels checked. I was terribly low when I got tested. Once I started testosterone, I found myself driving home at lunch for sex. Now that I’m off T again, I can tell my libido isn’t what it was on the shots. There’s got to be a balance in there somewhere, I also understand that T isn’t the only influence on libido. However, it’s one of the few things that can be measured with a blood test.

It’s not uncommon for your hormones to tank post vas. Unless, of course, you ask a urologist.


#3

I still wanted sex but my wife kept turning me down. So that didn’t help things. She kept saying it was because I was in pain and she didn’t want me to hurt. Funny thing is that over the last 5 years, it’s gotten to the point where she doesn’t even bring it up. She wants sex. I know that. Cause she watches porn and all. But doesn’t want it with me.

Add into it my not really wanting it after being turned down so much, the constant pain and then having trouble getting it up more and more over the years, yeah. It’s gone down till it’s pretty much gone. And when I was able to get it up, it was not as hard. And didn’t last as long. Not that I finished or anything. It’s just not fun anymore. I literally hate sex now.

So much for the whole you can have sex all the time and not worry about it thing. Just another lie by my wife and the doctor.


#5

My libido slowly but surely dropped after vasectomy, due to chronic pain and anxiety. My testosterone also dropped, with free T being 4 while range is 8-30. Definitely there is also a psychological effect, I am very anxious now about getting into relationships because of missed erections and expectations to perform flawlessly. As Ethan nicely puts it above, give your husband lots of support and understanding. Maybe start initiating intimacy, make him comfortable and worry free, that it is ok if things don’t turn out right some nights. My last girlfriend was saying that I don’t love her any more since I could not perform sometimes, that I don’t have desire for her. And I was just in pain, anxiety, and jelly down there. I will try T shots or T cream next. Prospects of ending up alone for the rest of my life because of vasectomy are not very appealing.


#6

Theres a lot if interesting thoughts in this thread, and a lot of the ideas could all be relevant in many cases.

I gotta stick up for the first responders tho, I’ve seen handfuls of guys that could prove their testosterone was in the 800~ range pre vas, and it tanked into the 100-200~ range immediately post vas.

I do believe some of the guys that tanked did get better numbers over time, but not all of them.


#7

Why Choo, if I didn’t know any better I’d say you sound like a paranoid conspiracy monger, lol…

For me having pain down there has been a libido killer. I think the psychological side may be of equal or greater importance though. Like Choo said, there is no reason it cant be a combination of both.

The ability of a man to confidently know he can provide for himself, and therefore provide for his partner is really important to a guys well being too. When you struggle to get through the week it’s tough to feel confident in your ability to be a provider and feel like a good partner. Feeling bad at your job suddenly because you have trouble sitting/lifting/standing all day is hard on your self worth. Needing someone as opposed to feeling needed, strong, desirable etc… I think being put in a position like that of vulnerability and neediness is can leads to the resentment because suddenly you no longer have power or equity in a relationship. Ugh, these things are tough to contemplate.

I would not discount hormone levels either though. It couldn’t hurt. My levels in 2013 were around 500 and then last summer they are mid 300s. I got tested because I noticed a huge drop off in energy, strength and libido.

You are in a tough situation @Worriedwife1. You can’t push your husband to do these things if he doesn’t want to and that has to be hard.

If you don’t mind me asking how is your husbands recover faring? These things can get better with time.


#8

was going to get snipped today, I am cancelling


#9

Good man @nelson! I wish I found this forum before making the biggest mistake of my life which was vasectomy. And I’ve done some pretty dumb stuff in my life


#10

Smart move. Many uros and GPs are still citing old, outdated studies that <1% of 1-2% of men suffer chronic pain from vasectomy. Recent studies are stating more like 6-12%. If I had been told the truth about the risks of vasectomy, I never would’ve had one. Spread the word and help put urologists out of business (for this service, anyhow).


#11

@raising4girls…almost fell for the outdated info thankyou guys for this platform


#12

Since my vas in 2010, my libido has dropped off. I get an erection maybe once every two months and intercourse lasts about 2 minutes before ejaculation.

My scotum has no sense of feeling, nor does most of my penis. To the point where if my wife touches me and i am unaware of it My doctor says it’s psychological.

Any advice will be welcome.


#13

I’m in the same boat. You may want to get your hormone levels checked and look into TRT and possibly a reversal.


#14

So easy to discard with the “it’s in your head” line without investigating. That’s the arrogance of doctors who simply can’t admit they don’t know everything. It’s one thing about Dr. P. at the PUR Clinic I really respect. On several occasions, he’s flat out stated that they don’t fully understand the complexities of post-vasectomy pain. At least that’s an honest and humble answer.

I’d recommend getting your T-levels checked, and don’t accept anything less than, say, 400 as “normal”. They list something like 250-1,000 as normal. I can tell you personally that I feel completely different at 600-700 than I did at 300 even though all are theoretically normal.


#15

I agree with etf42 as I had a numb penis with no control over ejaculation with no real libido. A reversal helped with these problems.