I know you are. I’m scared too. I spent my 20’s in a library getting straight A’s so I could be a dentist. I graduated with $300k in student debt, bought a house, then bought an $800k dental practice. My vasectomy was 7 months after I signed the note on the practice. I’ve had more than a few doctors tell me I won’t be practicing dentistry in 5 years. I had been practicing for 4 years the first time I heard that. I’ve got a wife and four small children ages 10, 8, 5, and 2. I was seconds away from killing myself several times those first few months but my obligation to support my amazing family kept me from doing it. I have a lot on my plate and it’s everything I’ve got to get out of bed every morning and go to work. Even though my job isn’t as physically demanding, it takes a bit of patience and concentration to do what I do. It hasn’t been easy to say the least. I understand what both of you are going through.
I would keep searching for answers. Just because I say you have nerve pain, doesn’t mean I’m right. I’m just a random screen name on a chronic pain website. I know personally, I haven’t found many answers. Lots of smart people, a few diagnoses but not much help. Professionally, many of these medications aren’t an option for me. I know several have found success with the nerve drugs (gabapentin, lyrica, etc). I don’t believe in taking pain medication, specifically opioids, for chronic pain. I’ve seen what it has done to a handful of my patients and I won’t do it. My formula for success is eating healthier, avoiding sugar, not overeating, sleeping as regularly and consistently as I can, hot baths every night before bed, regular exercise (which in some cases is just walking my kids to the park), stretching regularly, and lots of sex with my wife.
The more I put into my job, patients, and family, the better I feel. Weekends are hard for me because the time off gives me a chance to feel my pain.
I still hurt but I manage to live with it. I’m still anxious and depressed but I have “stepped back from the ledge” and I don’t have panic attacks regularly anymore. I still live with a lot of regret but I don’t spend all night with tears in my eyes like I did before.
I would seek out a pvps doc. Not someone in town that has seen it 2-3 times. Find someone legitimate. My routine is basically my interpretation of Mayo Clinic’s chronic pain self management program. A pain specialist isn’t a bad place to start either.
Find me someone who has suffered through something and doesn’t live with regret. Second, find me a man that puts his testicles under the knife and doesn’t have a “bad feeling” about what is about to happen. Somehow you need to focus on moving forward in a positive direction. If you don’t it will become a wedge in your marriage and you’ll both grow apart with resentment.
I’m truly sorry you’re here. No one signed up for this club because they wanted to. @Worriedwife1