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Groin pain that isn’t going away


#1

I’m wondering how many guys different from groin pain? Specifically my husband feels like it’s a hernia, where the pain is coming from. This is the issue my husband is struggling with and it’s not getting any better. NSAIDs make him feel better but are starting to hurt his already sensitive stomach. I really feel something happened that is nerve related with the vasectomy and I’ve read that a reversal won’t even do anything for nerve pain?! He is 5 weeks out (still early in terms of this site) but the pain doesn’t seem to be subsiding. He had a good day on Sunday and Monday and felt like it was going away, then Halloween came, he walked a lot and was hurting that night. I’m going to get him to follow up with another urologist because the doctor that did this surgery, let’s just say I have no faith in him whatsoever.

Does anyone know of a time someone’s groin pain went away?! Or is this for sure a life thing. Also, why would the pain radiate up there. I’ve seen others complain of groin pain on here but isn’t the vas’ cut lower down?


#2

I don’t want to frighten you but there are many guys here that have that pain up higher. Some of us call it “cord” pain because it seems to come more from where we were cut than from the testicle itself. It is usually a sign of nerve damage. Was you husband a single mid line incision or bilateral incisions? Where are his scars? In my case I was cut rather high on the left and I remember feeling the physician yank/drop something attached to me and a pulling. It was like something was hanging, like he dropped an instrument clamped onto me. The left is where I have pain still. It’s pretty high up. I had excruciating pain every night with nocturnal erections prior to my reversal. Whatever was done to clean out the “dead ends” and put me back together got rid of the problem that caused level 8-9 pain every morning so don’t rule anything out. I still have problems sitting however but I can sort of live with it. I’m pretty bitter still and my quality of life is greatly diminished and it has damaged my marriage and career pretty badly but I get by.

If you husband had in infection or a hematoma you need to give it more time. Really, 6 months is not an unreasonable amount of time for things to still keep getting better. Hang in there and try to stay positive. I’m hoping you just stop posting one day because things resolve. It happens a lot. We really all hope you end up graduating from this little ring of hell we are all in :slight_smile:.


#3

Hi @MikeO. He had one incision in the middle of his testicles but he also had stitches. I’m not sure if that type of incision is considered a no scalpel or not? I hear most are either bilateral or the no scalpel. I was worried that the doctor pulled his cord to hard or something since he’d have to pull it through the one incision. He is having a lot of pain after being on his feet all day. I’m hoping he’s just a late healer but this all worries me since it’s not a congestive issue and it sounds like a harder fix. He did have an infection a week after his vasectomy in the incision and was on antibiotics. It cleared the infection but did nothing for the pain. He is starting to get worried now where before he kinda just thought it needed time. It’s starting to affect his personality and he’s just sick of the pain. I can’t bear to tell him that it may be life long. It will destroy him.


#4

I’m sorry for what you are going through. I think you need to start wrapping your heads around the possibility of long term issues. Psychologically it is hard to accept. I think the fact you recognize it will help you. There is a wall between my wife and I. We don’t discuss this. I talk at her about it. I think some of my anger has caused her to withdrawal and be defensive. It’s messed up. If there is the feeling that you were pressured into getting a vasectomy and it turns out bad it can destroy your relationship with your spouse. I think seeing your genuine concern will help him. I didn’t marry my wife for sympathy and she’s not good at it anyway. She’s a strong person. It’s a shame what has happened to us. I still love her but I have so much anger it’s makes things very hard. I’m 10 years from vasectomy this December. I never thought I’d be on here that long. I didn’t discover the old Yahoo forum until 3 1/2 years or more after my vasectomy. I got reversed within a year or so of discovering it. I had a really good result in that the catastrophic nightly pain went away however I still have stabbing pain when I sit too long. It sucks.


#5

@MikeO The sad thing is I did pressure him. I’m the horrible person who believed what I was told about how safe and simple the procedure was and he really didn’t want to do it but did it to make me happy. I know in time when the pain doesn’t subside, he will resent me. I’m just waiting for it. The guilt is very overwhelming for me right now, hence the reason I’m trying to figure out what to do early on.


#6

For me personally, the groin/thigh stuff has always followed scrotal pain. It felt like it was all happening at the same time at first, and for awhile I even thought it was going the other way: i.e. coming from the groin/thigh/cord and radiating to the scrotum.

Make sure he’s walking/standing the same. Have him start stretching his groin/hamstrings/quads/hips in the morning and at night. What I’ve found is that I was subtly guarding my groin at all times and it literally changed the way I walked/stood.

At 5 weeks I wish I had been more cognizant of the subtle ways the pain was changing my posture and muscle tone. He needs to figure out a way to relax everything down there and continue moving in a correct way. That way he can know right now exactly where his pain is coming from without the confusing cascade of sympathetic pain.


#7

You’re going to have to live with that. You both are. When you think about it, reverse the situation and imagine a husband pressuring his wife to get her tubes tied or he’ll cut off sex or he said, “I provide all the income in this household, you are getting sterilised!” or any other reasoning. It would be completely unacceptable. If you feel guilty then what you need to do is not slink off into a corner on this issue in shame (like many of us do here). Let your voice and opinion on the matter be heard. If you are in a group of women engaging in that sort of “we do this so men must do that” sort of group-think say something. You are both victims here and both may end up suffering (although I think he’ll be okay with time). The perpetrators are the people that advertise a risk free operation and anyone that parrots what they say because it benefits them. If that sounds kind of harsh that’s because it is. You are the victim this time but imagine if you and your girlfriends/sisters etc encouraged another woman to pressure her husband into a vasectomy and another guy messed up his life, marriage, family etc… You get the picture. Don’t be part of the problem anymore. I’m sorry if that sounded mean. I think it needed to be said though. We should not be shaming people into unnecessary elective surgeries. Men and women have non-surgical options. Take turns with birth control with condoms, the pill, IUDs etc… Share the burden. Preganancy and childbirth are not = to vasectomy.


#8

@MikeO I just want to say that I didn’t give him ultimatums about him doing it. I couldn’t take birth control anymore and tubal litigation is “more risky” so although he didn’t want to do it, he did it for me and that’s the guilt I have to live with. He told me on many occasions including the day of that he didn’t want to it and I just either stayed silent or told him everything would be fine because I was led to believe that this was a safer alternative to all the birth control choices out there. I definitely have told male friends already not to do it and women at my work definitely know what I’m going through right now so hopefully word of mouth spreads and people understand complications can definitely happen.


#9

@MikeO
I saw previous posts about you having a hernia after reversal. Did you ever go in for hernia surgery. My husband was told that he may have a hernia but I don’t buy it. The doctor just felt around there, pressed a bit and said it’s a hernia. I find it weird that the issue onsetted at the exact time he got his vasectomy.


#10

Do what you have to do to cope. If coming here helps you, keep doing it. The best you can do is help the facts come forward. We are outliers but we represent a more significant % of outcomes than is advertised. Tell your story but really just make sure that any man or woman you encounter that is looking into the procedure is aware of the AUA, CUA and NHS guidelines. Specifically the statistics on chronic pain. Put the facts in their hands so they can go into it with open eyes. I don’t think we should be seen as anti-vasectomy or as an anti-vasectomy group. Of course we all feel that way but the one common thread is that we were not presented with the real risk. The best I hope for personally is that every provider in the country eventually clearly presents the accepted informed consent facts based on accepted guidelines on vasectomy, including the actual % of chronic pain outcomes.


#11

@MikeO can you let me know about your issues with the hernia please. I’m wondering if this could be a possibility of my husband’s pain. He is hoping it is in some ways but I don’t think it is. He went from no issues before to fill pain after the vasectomy and from what I’ve looked at with hernias, they aren’t that painful?!!


#12

I had a urologist recommended by my reversal surgeon say I think you may have a hernia. That urologist was local to the DC area and my reversal surgeon was Marks in Arizona. I then went to his hernia person/surgeon who ordered an ultrasound at Sibley hospital here in DC. It was performed by a young Russian tech/woman. There was a lot of back and forth when they were interpreting the results and they said I had a less than half a centimeter blob of fat that was possibly a hernia. I ended up no following through because it didn’t feel right. I ended up at a Dr. that trained under Dr. Dellon at the Dellon Institute for some nerve blocks. That guy was Eric Williams and he made me stand while doing an ultrasound and he was like "Dude, you don’t have a hernia. David Fenig of Chesapeake urology also said “You do NOT have a hernia”. Get a second opinion or even third opinion. If your insurance company complains tell them it all started with vasectomy and you will be pushing them to pay for a reversal. You get to a point where you go to a doctor surgeon and you are discouraged before you even get in the door. Fenig was good. He is very good. He understands PVPS and helped at least one other guy here.

People understand “groin pain with activity->hernia”. They don’t understand post vasectomy pain.

Your husband may have a hernia, but I doubt it.


#13

They say hernia based on the location. What your husband is feeling is either genitofemoral or ilioinguinal neuralgia. Both of these nerves traverse through the inguinal canal which is the location of the “groin pain” you’ve described. It’s usually pegged as a hernia because this is a common location for inguinal hernias. If you read the hernia forums, most guys get our same symptoms when these nerves become entangled in scar tissue from the mesh they use during hernia repairs in this location.

I’ve been checked for hernias over and over again. Given the timing of the injury, I find it highly unlikely it’s a hernia. Possible, yes, but not likely. Further, his situation and location of pain is very common on this site. I’ve got the same stuff. I can’t stand up for longer than 10-15 minutes without my iliolumbar ligament flaring up, then the hip and leg pain follows. I’m good just long enough to do the dishes then I need to sit down. Went to Disneyland last month and actually had a disabled pass as I’m unable to stand in line. We develop this pain because these nerves support your core muscles. Now that things aren’t functioning properly, other muscles compensate and it creates bigger issues.

The last thing you want to do is use hindsight to blame yourself. You didn’t know this would happen. No one plans for this. You may have pressured him but so does every wife. It’s the way in which vasectomy is presented as a quick easy snip with little to no consequence. Virtually everyone who experiences pain or tragedy in life lives with regret. “I should’ve stayed home,” “I shouldn’t have drank that night,” “I should’ve been a better friend,” “I should’ve kept my original vasectomy appointment because I would’ve had a different urologist.” Stop looking back and blaming yourself. It doesn’t help. Don’t be ashamed to seek help if you need it. This stuff isn’t easy on anyone.

@Worriedwife1


#14

@Choohooo
Thank you for your response. What you are saying makes sense to me too. I think it’s a little odd that this pain started right after the surgery and he never had hernia symptoms. Is there anything he can do with these nerve issues that actually work?
I know I shouldn’t blame myself but I can’t help it. My mind just keeps taking me back to the moment he went in and said he had a bad feeling. I could have stopped it and I didn’t. I will have to live with that forever while he suffers through pain. He does construction for a living so this issue will drastically affect our lives. I’m scared to be honest.


#15

@Choohooo do you know if this is something to go see a neurologist about?! He says that he feels like something is digging into his groin. Compared it to his cellphone digging in. He also feels okay in the morning but then by night he’s hurting. I’m pissed that nothing is said about nerve damage from this stuff?!? Is it something the doctor did wrong?! I’m so pissed off. Nerve pain is a huge issue with a total change in the quality of life. The other thing he told me was he thought this vasectomy was going to kill him. I thought he was being silly. I thought he was just afraid but I think this will kill him. If not physically, it will kill him emotionally.
How do you all cope with this. How do you stay positive?


#16

I know you are. I’m scared too. I spent my 20’s in a library getting straight A’s so I could be a dentist. I graduated with $300k in student debt, bought a house, then bought an $800k dental practice. My vasectomy was 7 months after I signed the note on the practice. I’ve had more than a few doctors tell me I won’t be practicing dentistry in 5 years. I had been practicing for 4 years the first time I heard that. I’ve got a wife and four small children ages 10, 8, 5, and 2. I was seconds away from killing myself several times those first few months but my obligation to support my amazing family kept me from doing it. I have a lot on my plate and it’s everything I’ve got to get out of bed every morning and go to work. Even though my job isn’t as physically demanding, it takes a bit of patience and concentration to do what I do. It hasn’t been easy to say the least. I understand what both of you are going through.

I would keep searching for answers. Just because I say you have nerve pain, doesn’t mean I’m right. I’m just a random screen name on a chronic pain website. I know personally, I haven’t found many answers. Lots of smart people, a few diagnoses but not much help. Professionally, many of these medications aren’t an option for me. I know several have found success with the nerve drugs (gabapentin, lyrica, etc). I don’t believe in taking pain medication, specifically opioids, for chronic pain. I’ve seen what it has done to a handful of my patients and I won’t do it. My formula for success is eating healthier, avoiding sugar, not overeating, sleeping as regularly and consistently as I can, hot baths every night before bed, regular exercise (which in some cases is just walking my kids to the park), stretching regularly, and lots of sex with my wife.

The more I put into my job, patients, and family, the better I feel. Weekends are hard for me because the time off gives me a chance to feel my pain.

I still hurt but I manage to live with it. I’m still anxious and depressed but I have “stepped back from the ledge” and I don’t have panic attacks regularly anymore. I still live with a lot of regret but I don’t spend all night with tears in my eyes like I did before.

I would seek out a pvps doc. Not someone in town that has seen it 2-3 times. Find someone legitimate. My routine is basically my interpretation of Mayo Clinic’s chronic pain self management program. A pain specialist isn’t a bad place to start either.

Find me someone who has suffered through something and doesn’t live with regret. Second, find me a man that puts his testicles under the knife and doesn’t have a “bad feeling” about what is about to happen. Somehow you need to focus on moving forward in a positive direction. If you don’t it will become a wedge in your marriage and you’ll both grow apart with resentment.

I’m truly sorry you’re here. No one signed up for this club because they wanted to. @Worriedwife1


#17

@Choohooo I thought it was nerve related as soon as the pain radiated from his groin. That’s where he swelled up as soon as the surgery was done and the pain on the left never went away. I was hoping it was because the cord got pulled somewhat tight when it was cut and the pain would disappear. Instead it seems to be getting worse.

I cry everyday and I don’t help the situation out at all. Him seeming me like this makes him feel horrible which in itself isn’t good for his recovery. He has a weak stomach and the NSAIDS are already hurting his stomach so I can’t see him staying on them for long.

I’m glad you have found the ability to get up everyday and still work, even when in pain. I have a mentally exhausting job as well and I can tell you if I had pain mixed in, it would be a nightmare.

Have you got blocks or denervation done? I have read posts about them but I don’t see a lot of positive outcomes from them. My husband HATES doctors. Seriously, he went to one once in the last 10 years we’ve been together and it’s so hard to motivate him to look into what’s even happening to him.

One positive thing is we live close to Toronto where all the more experienced doctors are. I have looked into Jarvi but I don’t even know if a reversal would help his situation. I’ve seen that if the pain is nerve related, further procedures can make it worse.

I thought we were doing the right thing. Trying to be responsible. We had such an uncomplicated life before. We had a healthy loving relationship that was almost perfect (lol, no ones is ever perfect) and we did the things we loved when we wanted. We have 2 boys, 7 and 4.

I feel like I took their dad away. My husband is a huge outdoorsy guy, hiking, canoeing, camping, and I feel like I’m stolen those things from him and from my children. Sorry, I know I’m a sob story on here and everyone of you guys are in pain but know that it takes a toll on us women too. We want our sexual, loving and healthy men back and I can guarantee this wasn’t the outcome we intended on either.

I’m honestly thinking of legal action against the doctor. Wouldn’t he have hit a nerve or cut it?!? I don’t get how this just happens. The other thing is he didn’t explain ANYTHING to my husband, just how he was doing it. No signing a waiver, no information about complications and his written instructions for post-op were crap. We didn’t know any different.


#18

@Worriedwife1 Trust me, I get it. I think Dr. Jarvi would be a good start. Even if reversal isn’t your best option, the guy has experience and I think it would be beneficial to get his opinion. I used to play golf 2-3x a week, never missed a deer or elk season, 3-4 fly fishing trips a year. That’s all come to a halt. My wife got out our waffle iron 6 months ago and I started to cry when I realized I hadn’t made Saturday breakfast for my kids since my vasectomy. I used to wake up early every Saturday and make waffles. That doesn’t happen any more. My life is different. The family is just happen when I’m around and don’t expect much out of me anymore.

You can try litigation but the odds aren’t in your favor. Medical malpractice is extremely difficult to win. Even if you are successful, the caps on awards make it hardly worth the effort. If I end up not practicing because of this, the loss of income could be in the 8 figures. There’s no way you would be rewarded that unless you could prove the uro purposely mutilated your husband.


#19

Definitely see Jarvi. My understanding is that he does ornis at least knowledgeable about vasectomy reversal and cord denervation. To me, that makes him objective. He appears to be one of the best for our ailment in North America.


#20

+1 @raising4girls I’ve considered seeing Jarvi and I’m not even close to Toronto nor am I a Canadian citizen plus I have Army insurance. He would be good. I would recommend trying to see him as well.