I’m curious to know if anyone else is struggling with depression as a result of their vas and what if anything has helped? For me it’s unclear if its brought about by the frustration of long term pain with no answers/relief or if there’s something more to do with hormonal imbalance. Suffice to say I’ve never really had depressive issues before, feels like out of the blue I’ll just want to cry some mornings. Other times I’m just irritable and extremely angry for what seems to be no reason. Loud noises really seem to get to me too. Certainly not a good place to be with 3 small kids. Prior to Vas I’ve never had any history of this, in fact I used to be a rather happy go lucky mellow person. The pain sure as hell sucks but the depression and mood swings are what’s really killing me and my relationship with my family. Has anyone done any kind of hormone therapy as a means to treat? Antidepressants? I’ll admit, I’m totally scared of antidepressants, hate the concept of mind altering drugs.
Think about it. You have pain, anxiety and possibly regret. There is nothing closer to a mans soul than his John Thomas and we, voluntarily, have possibly scored an own goal! You’re going to be worried and quite right to. I was beside myself with all manner of emotions I had never had to deal with before all rolled into one big phat downer. The trick is realising that you are down and doing something about it. For me it was to get a grip, understand that I had to keep going, not be depressed and sort my situation out. I camped out at the GP surgery and became a botherer until I got sorted. I was facing disability from work and and a new relationship with my wife and family. Nightmare.
Anyhow, there is light at the end of the tunnel for you, I hope. The body is a great healer and with a truly positive attitude it will just be a matter of time. Remember that a lot of men came to this forum, like me, then got better and probably didn’t return. I still pop in now and again to see what’s happening.
I don’t know what your story is but chin up, your family is on your side and look to the future. Think carefully about antidepressants.
Wow this is timely. You are not the only one struggling with this. I feel like you have to get to a place where you just accept what happened. We will never be the way were were again 100%.
The question is do you have pain you can live/function with or not.
I could learn to live with a certain amount of discomfort but I am getting to a point where work is becoming difficult again. You are not really living successfully with pain if you are unable to enjoy life because of it.
I had a bout of depression when I was young but really thrived as working adult and in my married life until this happened. The vas did happen at a really bad stressful time in my life but I’m pretty sure I would have rebounded okay if I had not needlessly aquired chronic groin pain. Well not needlessly. Someone had to take care of birth control and I actually stepped up to help out my wife. Sadly in our situation I can’t say it was entirely my idea or that we had any sort of rational discussion about it in the context of my fears about the operation and the fact condoms were not really an option for me. Men don’t have good options. Just yank, snip, burn and putting a glove on our penis. So yes, I have regret. Again though if the pain was manageable, something I could live with I could get over it.
You need to quickly make a plan of action and execute. The longer this drags out the worse it will be. I do recommend waiting a year if you can to see what happens if you think you can. For some men the pain resolves. Mine evolved slowly and steadily from the moment I got the operation.
It sure feels like we are alone but you are not. It’s cold comfort to know others are suffering as much as you are but it’s something.
I’m no doctor (and I doubt even the doctors and researchers know for sure), but my gut tells me that gonads and the brain have a much more direct link than anyone realizes or is willing to admit. (Just ask any teenager, right?) I, myself, encountered severe panic disorder that began within three weeks of the start of my testicle pain and began to abate after my reversal.
Don’t be ashamed. Arrange to get help before you need it. I was in crisis mode, calling psychiatrists and being told that new patients couldn’t get an appointment for at least three months. And my urologist at the time was telling me my pain was basically a figment of my mind.
Persistence saved my bacon.
Best of luck,
How’s it going Andrew?
I’ve started on duloxetine. It’s an AD but it also reduces nerve pain. It has reduced my pain and am also on testosterone replacement due to the damage done at the time of the vas.
I suppose the duloxetine is killing two birds with one stone, helps pain and mood.
I, sir, am doing very well – very little pain, healing mentally/emotionally, off all meds, doing well in school, volunteering, et cetera. I’m a lucky man.
Thanks for asking.
That’s good to hear. Pain in your head… Please send that guy a note telling him he’s a either clueless or a lying douchebag. I would recommend a notarized letter to scare the shit out of him. Then he’ll never be able to say he’s never had vasectomy cause pain again without lying. I would say that in the letter too. “If you ever tell someone the risk of chronic pain is low you will have to think of this letter and me and know you will be lying if you say there is little risk or that you’ve never seen this condition.”
I did well with my reversal too. Recovery was hard but the extreme pain went away as soon as the surgery pain subsided. My right side is GOOD. left side was bad before reversal, almost perfect after, then some thing happened and pain returned. Oddly my right side got way worse after reversal but has gradually gotten better and better. I’m still way better off. I never said anything to my original uro. I was done with him. Turns out the guy was implicated in an insider trading case and had to pay the SEC 300,000 bucks. He also writes fake scripts for junk prostate supplements sold by his partner so he can get a kickbak. I think that indicates a level of sleaze that wold not be tamed by a letter.
Yup. My first urologist whom I went to when I started to have pain would make me wait three months for an appointment and then do stuff like set me up with a female physician assistant who was told to compare my pain/hydroceles to Africans with elephantitis – so, yeah, he’s pretty much a douche and a racist, but he wasn’t the knucklehead who did my vasectomy. Fortunately, however, I did eventually find someone competent.
My first clue should have been on my first visit when he knew I was having panic attacks and he offers me a caffeinated soda, but I was still busy trying to get ahead of the learning curve at the time.
I’m right there with you. Never had an ounce of depression or anxiety pre vasectomy. 4 weeks post vas I found myself checking into the ER with severe pain, anxiety and strong thoughts of suicide. I didn’t even know what a panic attack was, thought I was having a heart attack. The last three weeks (I’m 3 months post vas) have been better. Depression and anxiety are real. It’s not just “I feel sad I had a vasectomy” but rather a chemical imbalance that can be really difficult to manage. It’s an endless cycle that will continue to get worse if something doesn’t change. Acceptance, like the poster before me said, is a big part of it. Of course it’s much easier when your pain subsides enough to be tolerable. I would agree that there’s a much stronger brain to testis connection than medicine realizes. One day, maybe in 20 years, they’ll finally find the connection and vasectomies will go away. A lot of my problems have been with my head. I’ve developed, vertigo, optic neuritis, my hands shake, and my eyes don’t focus well. All this started 5 days post vas. I also have a three month migraine in the right occipital lobe area. I’ve tried Xanax, celexa, and every over the counter under the sun. Celexa gave me chest pains. Xanax works but I feel buzzed and can’t work on it. I also don’t want to get hooked on benzodiazepines as they’re highly addictive. Where ever your medical journey leads you, just don’t give up hope. Doctors have a magical way of making you feel like you are crazy. You aren’t. No, it’s not in your head like everyone wants you to believe. I’ve even seen a psychologists (at my wife’s request) but it didn’t do much. It’ll get better but it takes time. This is a great place to seek advice. There are also providers on here that realize that all people react differently to vasectomies and they work hard to help resolve issues. Don’t give up. If you find something that helps you, do it. Before my vasectomy I didn’t even like to take Tylenol for a headache. At this point I’ve even considered cannabis but fear I could lose my license (I’m a dentist). Your body and your mind might need a little help to get you down the road to where you’re in a better place and can cut back or taper off. It might be helpful to get your hormones checked. I was diagnosed with severe low T last week. I think what’s happening is stress is robbing my body of testosterone which in turn compounds the problem and makes it worse. DHEA is the precursor to T but also the precursor to cortisol so as stress increases T drops. Low T can be associated with depression and anxiety.
I agree with Choo Choo I never took anything but the ocassiinal Tylenol before vas had no health history at all. I was the most social sometimes loud mouth lol. Everyone always said I never stopped talking. 5 weeks post vas had numbness hit bilateral legs and had a panic attack. Still fighting constant anxiety at times and a complete personality change to quiet and never talk.
Interesting take that. I was 100% confident and nothing phased me at all. I have one of those jobs that I need to be all there or else…? I have for the first time started to experience elements of doubt in my decision making and pangs of anxiety. There is no doubt that this due to the vas and it affects us in ways that the medical community cannot be bothered to address or audit. There are a lot of voices here and we need to be heard to avoid many other men from being victims.
I feel like the vas is causing depression with my hubby. His bad pains are gone since having his operation but I feel like the vas has totally changed him. He broke down to me yesterday about his feelings. My heart bleeds for him and his mood affects my mood as much as I don’t want it to. I still regret his vas and I swear it’s messed him up psychologically.
I’m trying to convince him to talk to someone as the first step as he is completely against taking medication (especially AD). I think he thinks it will make him weak. I’m stuck and don’t know how to help him except to just be there for him.
Did you guys that suffered from depression get better as time went on or did you need help from additional resources such as therapy or medications? Has there been a lot of you who have suffered from depression due to your vas?
Fortunately, my wife has been very willing to listen to me whine since getting my vas. In fact, some nights we stay up talking and I feel like we’re closer than ever even if we’re both worried about what to do in the long run. I think for many men this represents a kind of helplessness they’ve never had to deal with before. And it’s laced with anger since it’s the kind of stupid self-inflicted wound that would make us shake our heads if someone else had done it. But it was us who took that chocolate and bacon encrusted bait of unrestricted intimacy.
I feel like any depression I’ve suffered from this experience is mostly due to the chronic discomfort it has brought with it, not some mysterious onset of clinical depression with unknown cause.
That being said, I have gone and talked to a psychologist about 7 or 8 times and I think it was helpful in that it was nice to vent/share my feelings with a professional who was unbiased and could bring a different perspective.
I am convinced that feeling better physically will improve my mental state dramatically, as that is what is causing most of my stress/depression.
I don’t think it’s productive or healthy to dwell on blaming our spouse, the doctor, or even ourselves for making this poor decision. At some point, you have to move on and just focus on being as healthy as you can. Easier said than done.
I had my first appointment with a pain management doc yesterday. He spent 40 minutes with me talking about PVPS. First, unlike many docs I’ve seen, he’s very familiar with it and sees a new PVPS every couple of months, so 6 or so a year. He described it like a chronic regional pain syndrome, and gave me some options.
At the end of the conversation, he brought up my mental state. He did it in an obscure way because he wanted to make sure I didn’t think he was telling me it was all in my head. However, he did say that pelvic and genitalia pain, in both men and women, carries a higher percentage of mental anguish than pain from other areas. It was incredibly refreshing for him to talk about it this way, and hear his theories as to why. I agreed with him that it would be a good idea to see a pain psychologist.
It doesn’t make your husband any less of a man to admit that this has caused mental issues. I consider myself to be a pretty confident guy, so much so that I have to be careful to not come off as cocky, arrogant or standoffish. I’m not any if those, but I’ve been told I present myself that way. However, this pain has in so many ways crippled me mentally and emotionally and has even changed my personality. Quite simply, I’m dealing with anxiety and depression because my balls hurt. It sucks and not many people will ever be able to understand this type of pain, like they can knee, hip, neck or back pain because it’s rarer. I also believe there is a hormonal component to this, but that’s all opinion and can’t be proven.
Tell him your concerns and ask him to talk to someone. Therapy has helped a few of us. I took Lexapro early on and take Cymbalta now. I don’t like taking ADs, but I sure as hell didn’t like crying all the time, or having very dark thoughts. I’m in a better spot mentally, thank God. I feel like myself again and my wife would tell you that as well. Good luck.
There’s definitely something about pain in your genitals that strikes at your core. I guess we’re supposed to look out for them in a special way.
For those who know of the Bob and Tom Show on the radio, Chick McGee once said that his balls “are the fulcrum of my well being.”
I don’t know his past but for me personally. I’ve been hurt before. Plenty of fights. I’ve been knocked out twice. beaten and bloody. But never had an operation or broke any bones or had any mayor illness. So I tell my wife that this still me but just me in pain. I’m not really different other than I never had to deal with anything like this before.
She takes it personal sometimes, and when I speak of it anymore she has grown numb and says “I should just do something”.
I THINK anyway my depression has gotten better over time. But ever morning when I wake up for that first few minutes I wish I hadn’t. I would definitely go see someone if I could afford it and I would take meds if they helped my pain plus my depression.
I did, and still have a lingering angst after many years. I still feel like I got screwed, even though the pain is gone. I’m still angry that the @#$/ urologist is still butchering men. I will probably carry that to my grave.