I guess I just want someone to blame!
I understand perfectly. The problem is first letting guys know their procedure caused harm. Most providers would never admit it or face it because we let them off the hook. With published standards and state medical boards and places like this you can at least say call into question the informed consent procedure of your provider. I personally think if it doesn’t say 1 in 100 chance of permanent chronic pain and discomfort it is not adequate. The AUA guidelines are the most favorable to providers (for not scaring customers off) at 1 in 50. This 1 in 1000 and 1 in 2000 stuff is just not backed up by any sort of science. They are just numbers.
You are helping by being here but if you want to feel better write a letter to your provider. Get it notarized and send a copy to the state medical board in the form of a complaint. Get it on record. If you don’t get it on record nothing will change. If I made my living performing this procedure which is fairly profitable for the amount of effort involved I would not want to change my SOP either. I would not want to lose customers or the easy income or admit I might harm a guy by performing one because why would you open yourself up to that liability? It’s easier to say it’s safe and 1 in 2000 guys have issues because who is going to call you out on it?
You can blame your doctor, but not for harming your husband. Blame him for either being ignorant of the risk or willfully ignoring it and depriving you of proper informed consent. The doctor didn’t harm your husband on purpose. They don’t set out to do that obviously so it’s hard to blame them for that. There is no excuse after being confronted for them to not examine their own consent procedures so future patients here the same thing over and over (despite bad outcomes like yours). It’s not going to change unless we change it.
Me too. Maybe that could have had scared me off for good. But who knows…
The problem is… We blindly trust doctors. And I don’t see any problem with that. This is how it is supposed to work.
They tell you to take a pill and you take it. We don’t even think about the possible side effects inherent in every medication, because what else can you do?
So, if they tell you to relax because everything will be okay. You take that for granted.
That’s why people only give credit to forums like this after they find themselves in trouble.
@Choohooo, thank you for sharing your consent form.
What you did - what we all did - wasn’t just STUPID, it was SINFUL.
@worriedwife who is to blame you ask?
The vasectomy is a trap set by Satan. It baits us by offering something that is very desirable – worry free unprotected sex. Our desires to gratify the flesh, which the bible says are sinful, caused us to overlook and ignore the risks and dangers. It caused us to believe the lies and deceit that surround vasectomy. In other words we were deceived by the Father of Lies, Satan. Satan is cleaver and so are his traps. For example, if many suffered from vasectomy then no one would fall victim to it. Instead, only a fraction of people are harmed by it and so the trap perpetuates.
We fell into the trap because we had our guard down and we did not know the enemy. The Bible tells us that the world is inherently evil, that the god of this world is Satan. Take for example, World Vasectomy Day. The bible warns us that Satan sets traps to ensnare us and that he is more clever than we are. The only way for us to avoid Satan’s traps and temptations is by understanding and following the Word of God.
Satan cannot harm us directly, so he uses people to deceive us and bring harm to us. Not only did the doctors deceive us and bring harm to us, but so did our family members, our wives and our friends who encouraged us to get this done. The doctors who are guilty of greed and lying, and our family and friends who are guilty of ignorance and foolishness – both sinned against us. Once we were ensnared by the trap that is PVPS we then repaid sin with sin by giving in to bitterness, anger, rage, inability to forgive ourselves and others, thoughts of suicide… we continued to sink deeper into Satan’s trap.
But there is hope for us. That hope alone is in Jesus Christ, the One who defeated Satan at the cross. If you want to avoid more of Satan’s traps and temptations then you must follow the One who defeated Satan.
The apostle Paul writes in Ephesians 6:10-11
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.
I posted pictures of the informed consent paperwork that I signed, and all my original vasectomy risks and side effects paperwork in the “proof doctors lie about the risks” thread.
If I didn’t hate looking at that stuff so much, I’d take a moment and post then in this thread as well. This thread is better titled. Maybe another day.
Interesting that the ONLY place other than here that I’ve found to be vocally anti-vasectomy is the Roman Catholic Church.
There are other individual doctors that are anti-vasectomy but they get cast out or are spurned by the medical community at large. There is too much politics, money and too many people with skin in the game. Vasectomy won’t get denounced until it is replaced completely by a different form of birth control. Only once the numbers drop dramatically due to a male pill or some other better means of male birth control people will people say, hey that was messed up. I can’t believe we did that to men.
Sadly, you’re right, we’re unlikely to win the war against vasectomy. We win a few battles here and there, but there are too many aligned in favor of vasectomy.
Seems like a better birth control option is the best bet, but with vasectomy being so “safe”, I’m not sure there’s a lot of research going on to find one.
I think victory is just mandatory informed consent and raising awareness of risk. I think for any elective procedure that should be required and expected. I did my due diligence in asking specifically about pain and still was given a made up number. Had I been presented the 1 in 50 AUA Vasectomy Informed Consent Guidelines number or had been told lifelong chronic pain was a possibility I would have just passed. And that’s precisely why men are not told those numbers. I think there are plenty of men out there that would still get the operation when presented those odds though so there is no good excuse for not giving men a worst case scenario even if those numbers are on the low side of realistic for bad outcomes.
and do you think that this is actually good? i mean, i have a feeling that men SHOULD be told those numbers as that’s their right… don’t you think the same?
I wonder if we could get advice from an attorney on how to force urologists via the AUA to use better informed consent.
I agree I would’ve passed.
Welcome to the board btw.