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An apology from my Dr


#1

I just wondered if this was of any interest to you guys who have been pushed into a vasectomy, by your wife and your family Dr. It is with interest that I say this,
My GP has finally admitted to me that my wife begged him to convince me to have a vasectomy, because she did not want any more children, my thoughts and feelings on the matter, did not matter to her at all, she wanted me sterilized and that was that. As I am saying he has finally said to me that it was wrong of him to side with my wife and not listen to me at all. He said he was convinced that a vasectomy was best for us as a family, even though I said no to the both of them, she should have got an Oscar for her performance, not to mention what id did to me, completely ruined my sex lift because of the discomfort and loss of feeling.
He said he was sorry for all the pain and discomfort that I had had over the years, also said sorry because he keep telling me it was in my head. since I have had a vasectomy reversal things have been different in my man department and all for the better, better feeling as well, I am very pleased with the result, my wife has yet to say that she was sorry, I suppose I will die waiting for the apology from her. It is a sad way to live with someone you don’t care about, they do say you reap what you sow.
The other comment that he made is that he never says to women that they should have their tubes tied, and my answer to him was that there would be no money in that for him as that operation is done in hospital under a general, I think he was pissed off, to bad though that is true, Men and women to have a vasectomy or a tubal, both have devastating health results, and neither are a healthy option and certainly can have terrible results on a marriage. Don’t be conned into this,


#2

Wow! It’s hard to imagine a doctor apologizing as yours did especially because I think it opens him up to a lawsuit.

Here’s a suggestion (call it a request). Assuming you have no plans to file suit against him, draft an apology letter on his behalf written to other physicians and potential victims of vasectomy. Write it as it he’s stating what happened and how he regrets talking you into a procedure he felt was safe but has turned out, given new knowledge, not to be safe. Craft it as a warning letter to other physicians and patients seeking vasectomy that it’s not a risk-free venture and that real, live patients have devastating consequences.

I’d love to be able to throw it up as its own website. How about www.doctoragainstvasectomy.com?

At a minimum, we could publish it here as its own thread.

Like you, my wife has never apologized.


#3

nope I am letting it go mate to much of a nightmare and the apology was to me, really he did do what was requested of him, it just had awful results


#4

I understand. I’m not trying to pin blame on your physician or any other, just trying to get medical doctors to publicly admit what they’re seeing.

My Pain Management specialist is seeing (or has seen) me and two other forum members, and I’ve never gotten the “we’ve never seen a problem with vasectomy” before. In fact, I sense my pain management physician sees a good number of vasectomy victims.

I believe that these medical practitioners have an obligation to tell the world that they’ve learned vasectomy is not as safe as advertised. As much as we on this forum make our presence known, it’d help immensely to get some MDs and a celebrity or two to help our cause.

That said, I understand why you want to put this behind you and respect your position.


#5

@Francis
I have not been here much lately. Please let me know how you’ve been doing and what the course of your symptoms have been through the reversal. Glad the reversal is working out for you. I would love that sort of closure with my old urologist, who still practices here in town. I don’t have the time to run that down though and am afraid it would just stir up more resentment in me.

Take care,
Mike


#6

Doing well Mike0, feeling much better thanks, reversal was a non event ,no pain at all feeling a lot better than during the time that I had my vasectomy, met another guy at work today who had similar problems who has also has a reversal, and he is feeling good about himself as well. It is proving that vasectomies are a bigger problem than Drs think.


#7

Wow, it would seem to me that statistically the odds of working with someone else that needed a reversal would be really low.

Prior to my reversal when I was in hell and had to confide in managers, which was horrible/embarrassing/humiliating/emasculating I did not discus what was going on with me outside of what was absolutely necessary. After my vasectomy reversal when I was getting ready to move on I confided in one guy that used the same headhunter as me about my issues. He was an outstanding management consultant that was highly competent and well respected. After I told him on a lark, he confided in me that after his vasectomy sex lost all it’s pleasure for him. He completely lost interest in it and he told me that because of that he no longer slept in the same room as his wife. That’s one guy I told and that was what I was told in return. You don’t hear from guys like us because we usually hide in shame. I didn’t even understand that my issues were being caused by my vasectomy until about 3 years in so there is that too.

Glad you are doing good. I want guys here to know when other guys get better as a result of a)Waiting b)taking action c)waiting and taking action d) etc. etc… You sharing gives other guys hope.
For me the reversal recovery was much worse than my vas, which was a non-event. We are all different that way.


#8

Hi Mike0 yes we are all different but our problem is mostly the pain that seems to be the biggest secret. I am tired of people saying no such thing as the pain, that is BS and I find sharing my story other men say yes I experienced that as well, I think it is time to find a journalist who will expose vasectomy for what it is.